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Musings Report 2025-18 5-3-25 What Makes Us Happier / Unhappier?
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What Makes Us Happier / Unhappier?
A few months ago a reader challenged my discussing happiness: was I an expert on happiness? If not, then I had no grounds for addressing happiness.
Setting aside the contagion of righteous indignation that's infected the public sphere--how dare you, etc.--I take his point: what can an ordinary person possibly say about happiness that has any value? Don't worry, be happy?
Hollow affirmations and empty platitudes are certainly common fare when it comes to discussing happiness, but there are aspects of happiness that rarely make it into the mainstream.
We can start by looking at the shadow of happiness: what makes us unhappy / reduces our happiness?
As a general truism, if we're unhappy, we can either change real-world conditions or we can change our attitude / response to those conditions.
If it's difficult to change real-world conditions, then we're left with changing our perspective, attitude or response. Conditions can make this easier or more difficult.
Observation suggests these conditions are hard to reverse in the real world and difficult to re-contextualize into neutral factors that don't lessen our general happiness.
1. Chronic pain / chronic ill health, mental health breakdowns / issues.
2. Loss of control of our lives.
3. Burnout.
4. Financial stress generated by heavy debt or a severe reduction / collapse in earnings / income / wealth.
5. Life losses: bankruptcy, divorce, death, loss of livelihood / career, having to move far away.
6. Being stuck or trapped, unable to make progress on our life goals.
7. Caregiving that depletes us of time or energy; there's little left for ourselves.
8. Anomie, loss of purpose, anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure), alienation.
The first thing we notice is the first seven are individual conditions which in the current zeitgeist are assumed to be fixable via a solution or remedy, preferably a technological or medical/therapeutic product/service: a medication, surgical procedure, some form of therapy, a wellness class, nutritional supplements, aromatherapy, calming audiotapes, meditation, taking a vacation, support group, Zoom consultation, obtaining another diploma or credential, and so on.
In many cases one of these treatments is a life-changing positive development. In others, the expectations are unmet. If symptoms can be alleviated, that's a definite positive. But that's not the same thing as becoming happy.
The zeitgeist holds that there is always an individual solution or remedy, and it's our responsibility to find it and make it work. This makes sense in the context of "personal responsibility," but it completely avoids the impact of the socio-economic system we inhabit, Item Eight, Anomie.
There are numerous reasons for this avoidance / silence. One is that there is a built-in profit incentive to sell a product or service as a solution or remedy, and so promoting a solution that starts with purchasing a product or service is the priority.
Another is that since we can't change the socio-economic system, then we have no choice but to modify our individual conditions or our attitude / response.
This is more or less the Stoic Response: accept hardships and flaws in others as the normal order of life, focus on gratitude for what we have and what we've learned, and understand (as in the Buddhist / Taoist traditions) that life is change and we cannot make permanent that which pleases us.
A third reason is that negativity is frowned upon as a Mortal Sin, and therefore we must ignore systemic, structural sources of unhappiness because this sounds defeatist and negative.
Blaming the system for our own failures is for losers. Winners find a way to win. If the system is rigged against you--for example, the unwinnable Kobayashi Maru scenario Star Fleet cadets were given as a test--then the solution is to hack the test and change it so you can win--James T. Kirk's solution.
Our No-Win "Kobayashi Maru" Economy. (June 2022)
Anomie is at heart the inevitable friction between high expectations promised by a culture / socio-economic system and the lived reality which delivers the promised "good life" to far fewer members of the society than the majority expects.
Here are some descriptions of anomie pulled off the web:
Anomie, as defined by sociologists like Emile Durkheim, refers to a state of normlessness where individuals experience a breakdown in social norms and values. This often occurs during periods of rapid social change or instability, where traditional rules and expectations are disrupted.
Durkheim believed that anomie is common when the surrounding society has undergone significant changes in its economic fortunes, whether for better or for worse and, more generally, when there is a significant discrepancy between the ideological values commonly professed and what was actually achievable in everyday life.
For example, a society that emphasizes wealth accumulation but offers limited opportunities for most individuals to achieve it leads to breakdowns in the social order.
Anomie is a complex social phenomenon that highlights the importance of social norms and values in maintaining social cohesion and individual well-being. When these norms and values break down, it can have significant consequences for individuals and society as a whole.
Anomie can be defined as a state of normlessness, disorder, or confusion in a society when the standard norms and values are weak.
I would describe anomie as being un-anchored in a community, disconnected, devoid of an identity in a society that cares little for you, and you return the favor. Anomie is the state of being alienated from the society/culture's zeitgeist of what's secularly worshiped, valued and pursued: the recognition that what's held up as being of great value is empty and meaningless.
In my terminology, the core dynamic in anomie is the Devil's Pact, in which we accept a deal that takes more of our autonomy, health and quality of life than it delivers, but we feel we have little choice but to accept the Pact as the best deal available.
There is a ninth factor: reaching the Promised Land of financial success and recognition / status, and finding the happiness and fulfillment that were implicitly promised as our reward for succeeding is hollow.
Rather than feeling fulfilled, we feel deflated and disappointed. With happiness elusive, we slip into a dark well of depression: is this all there is? It's as if we were chasing a chimera; is this what we made all those sacrifices for?
We might imagine that happiness is the absence of unhappiness, but this doesn't seem to be the case.
Perhaps the durable source of happiness isn't a product or service or "winning" or "succeeding" or "mindfulness" in the conventional goal-driven race to wealth, recognition, status and Nirvana, but in finding a path that's meaningful to us that doesn't have a destination per se, as it doesn't depend on the recognition of others or reaching a rung in a financial / quantitative ladder.
This path may contribute to our livelihood, or it may be that our "real life" starts at 4 pm when we leave work. In any event, the path must diverge from the conventional goals of wealth and recognition, as these are defined by conditions we don't control.
If we're making progress on this private path, that's satisfying. While we're working away, we're engaged, occupied, interested, keen on doing good work. We aren't aware of being happy because that's not really the nature of happiness. It seems the pursuit of happiness is the engine of happiness, not reaching the goal.
Yes, I am not an expert on happiness. I'm not sure anyone else is, either. It may be that the only expertise within anyone's reach is becoming an expert on our own happiness.
Highlights of the Blog
25 Years of Higher Interest Rates Ahead? 5/2/25
The Potential Winners and Losers in Reshoring Supply Chains 4/30/25
The Winners and Losers in 21st Century America 4/28/25
Best Thing That Happened To Me This Week
The baker was inspired to bake whole-wheat / whole grain bread (with oatmeal, millet and ground flax seeds)...
...and cantuccini, better known as biscotti in the US (biscotti is cookie, cantuccini is this cookie).
How does the baker have time to bake? One source of "free time" might be that her phone use is 5-10 minutes a day, all phone conversations, and she has zero social media accounts.
What's on the Book Shelf
The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America by Daniel Boorstin
From Left Field
NOTE TO NEW READERS: This list is not comprised of articles I agree with or that I judge to be correct or of the highest quality. It is representative of the content I find interesting as reflections of the current zeitgeist. The list is intended to be perused with an open, critical, occasionally amused mind.
Many links are behind paywalls. Most paywalled sites allow a few free articles per month if you register. It's the New Normal.
Machina economicus--an alien invasion. -- Cory Doctorow on corporate morals--or lack thereof...
How and Where is Nuclear Waste Stored in the US?
No, you're not fine just the way you are: time to quit your pointless job, become morally ambitious and change the world.
'Marriage feels like a hostage situation, and motherhood a curse': Japanese author Sayaka Murata.
The America I loved is gone.
A Visual Breakdown Of Who Owns America's Wealth -- the top 0.1% own $25 trillion, the bottom 90% own $52 trillion....
Scientists make incredible breakthrough after studying whale urine: 'We soon realized that was only part of the story'
This 1,000-mile river suffered decades of oil spills. Now it’s a legal person, things could change.
The core of Japan's rice supply problems isn't about surging prices alone.
Why are young Chinese women hiring cosplayers and going on dates with their virtual lovers?
Ingredient Spotlight: Acorn Noodles--Korean noodles with ground acorn flour...
Who Will Save These Dying Italian Towns? -- from 2017, highlights the issue facing rural towns in many nations....
"It is better to try something and fail than to try nothing and succeed. The result may be the same, but you won't be. We always grow more through defeats than victories." Soren Kierkegaard
Thanks for reading--
charles |
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