The True Meaning of Stoicism

October 9, 2025

Self-discipline isn't supposed to be punishing. Rather, it's friendly and encouraging. The encouraging Master is strict only in holding fast to moderation.

Today, "stoicism" means weathering adversity without complaint. There is much more to the philosophy of stoicism than that.

In its entirety, stoicism is a philosophy of wisdom much like Buddhism in its emphasis on virtue, self-control, renunciation of excess, self-improvement, detachment, cause and effect (The Four Noble Truths) and the cessation of suffering though understanding.

It also shares many similarities with Taoism in its view of living within Nature, accepting the limits of our control, rejecting wealth, status and power, and like Buddhism, finding liberation through practice, insight and understanding.

Here are some succinct excerpts on Stoicism from orionphilosophy.com:

The Stoics elaborated a detailed taxonomy of virtue, dividing virtue into four main types: wisdom, justice, courage, and moderation.

The Stoics believed that the path to happiness (which they called eudaimonia) was discovered through:

1. Accepting the world for what it is (rather that expecting it to be something it is not).

2. Being resistant to the draws of desire, addiction, pleasure, fear, or pain.

3. Understanding our own nature and acting in accordance with it.

4. Living with virtue.

Stoic philosophers believed that some of our negative emotions are simply caused by errors in our judgement, such as:

1. Having unrealistic expectations of the world, other people, or ourselves.

2. Trying to control things outside the reach of our influence.

3. Not accepting responsibility for the things within our control (our beliefs, actions, values, perspectives etc).

4. Not understanding the nature of the world or ourselves.

The Stoics did not look to eliminate emotions, they looked to lessen their hold on our peace of mind. This was achieved through reason, judgement, and self control.

The use of logic, discipline, meditation, and objectivity helped the Stoics keep their composure in times of difficulty, and remain clear headed to judge the best way to move forward.

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said this:

"Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions."

In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote:

"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil."

End of excerpts.

I would add four comments regarding Marcus Aurelius's Meditations.

1. So far as we know, the Meditations were his private notebook of self-improvement. The book was not composed for publication, though he may well have anticipated that as a possibility.

2. Much of his writings can be viewed as a relentless reduction of expectations. If we expect little, we're better prepared to accept adversity because it is what we anticipated.

If something a bit better transpires, we're delighted. If our expectations are too high, we suffer disappointment, depression, resentment, indignation, envy, etc.

3. The first chapter of the Meditations was an outpouring of gratitude to everyone who taught him valuable lessons and provided an example how to live a virtuous, kind and ethical life.

4. He was a strict taskmaster of himself, constantly seeking to better himself via actions and insights.

Let's extend this discussion of stoic virtue into self-discipline, a key element of stoicism's principles of self-control and moderation.

Our world is dominated by the drive to maximize profits. I contend (and am in good company doing so) that this economic dynamic now dominates society, culture and governance (politics).

As a result, everything is viewed through the prism of maximizing financial gain, as if all of human life boils down to this single drive.

In this context, both ends of the spectrum of indulgence and discipline are highly profitable, and so they are marketed to us with great zeal.

Moderation isn't profitable and so it's ignored, much like no one spends a fortune marketing carrots and broccoli, as these low-margin items cannot be as profitable as junk food.

(Deep-frying carrot-colored potato-starch sticks in low-quality fat, coating them in low-quality sugar and marketing them as a "healthy snack" replaces low-profit carrots with high-profit ultra-processed food--the essence of Ultra-Processed Life--my new book; you can read the first part for free.)

On the indulgence end, we're constantly told "we deserve" a treat, a luxury, etc., so go ahead and indulge yourself. We're shown scenes in which the joy of the participants indicates that indulging in pizza and alcohol while watching a football game on TV is the height of human happiness.

The not-so-subtle message in all this encapsulates the entirety of Modernism: the elevation of the Self as the One True Measure of Everything. This is the essence of narcissism and self-absorption.

A solipsistic focus on gratifying my desires, expressing my uniqueness with curated social media posts and possessions, and making my opinions known is the Modernist Project.

In marketers' clever hands, indulgence isn't self-destructive excess, it's the discovery of "the real you," the self freed from all the constraints of convention and the limits we place on ourselves, i.e. self-discipline.

Indulging ourselves via buying something is presented as freeing ourselves from the shackles of convention, a means of self-discovery and self-expression.

This distortion of the authentic project of acquiring oneself (in Kierkegaard's phrase) is highly profitable, as high-margin indulgences (triple-patty bacon cheeseburgers, luxury vehicles, jewelry, river cruises, etc.) can be marketed as "you deserve it."

In marketers' able hands, self-discovery and self-expression require the constant purchase of highly profitable products and services to become "the real you."

The other end of the spectrum--self-denial--is equally profitable, as high-margin home gyms, weight-loss programs, etc. are marketed as the extreme tools you need to restore your health and glorify your "real self" after decades of self-indulgence.

That the vast majority of the home-gym contraptions end up outside rusting and the majority of those who lose weight via strict diet regimes gain it back are testament to the ephemeral frailty of self-denial that can be purchased.

Equating self-denial with self-discipline distorts the true purpose of self-discipline, which is to maintain moderation, not unsustainable extremes.

Extremes of fitness and diet are profitably sold as the means to become "the real you," the self glorified as a photo-worthy body.

Self-discipline isn't the pursuit of extremes for the purpose of self-glorification; it's the pursuit of moderation for the purpose of well-being, learning, insight and self-cultivation.

The point of self-discipline isn't forcing oneself to extremes, it's to be a friend to yourself by limiting destructive excesses of self-indulgence and self-denial.

The media glorifies the gains of extreme self-privation, but such extremes are not sustainable nor are they desirable from the perspective of the cultivation of virtue, health and wisdom.

The point of self-discipline is not to become more self-glorifying than others, it's to master moderation.

For this, we don't need to buy any products or services. Moderation isn't profitable.

In the realm of moderation, any two-meter square of ground can be a gym. Any diet of a wide variety of real, unprocessed food and moderate servings can be a healthy diet.

Self-indulgence and self-privation are not pathways to self-discovery or self-expression. These extremes are brittle. Self-discipline in service of self-cultivation and moderation is flexible. The dead reed is brittle, the living reed is flexible.

Self-discipline isn't supposed to be punishing. Rather, it's friendly and encouraging. The encouraging Master is strict only in holding fast to moderation.

Moderation is flexible and that's why it's sustainable.

Stoicism isn't asceticism. As Marcus Aurelius showed, it's gratitude for what we have learned, lowering expectations of ourselves and the world, and the process of self-cultivation via self-discipline, learning and moderation--a pathway of self-reliance.

Self-reliance is a journey of learning, flexibility, lowering expectations, moderation, encouragement and self-cultivation. I wrote a book about it: Self-Reliance in the 21st Century. You can read the first chapter for free.



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