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Birth of the U.S.A.--The Alternative Version   (July 4, 2006)


The Scene: Three Founding Fathers (FF) sit glumly around a small table in the flickering light of a guttering candle.

FF1 Houston, we hath a problem.

FF2 Great Scott, man, must you speak in confounded riddles?

FF1 Truly, my speech amazes me as much as you. The phrase seemed to have uttered itself. I meant only to say that we are in deep muck.

FF2 You refer, I believe, to the polling numbers in Maryland and Massachusetts?

FF1 Precisely. Independence has been polling exceedingly poorly. In some burgs, some 40% of the populace prefers to remain subjects of the King.

FF3 Why, the running curs of Monarchy! A Pox on their wretched selves and their miserable possessions!

FF1 You speak of our countrymen thus? I fear for the Revolution if that be our stance.

FF3 And what do you suggest as an alternative, Sir?

FF1 It occurs to me that perhaps an incremental approach would convince our doubting brethren. Perhaps we could try publishing broadsheets and posting them far and wide, carrying a message of conciliation.

FF2 Ah. Then, we re-poll the populace to ascertain if our numbers be rising?

FF1 Precisely. If our numbers have thus risen, then we could reshape our message to one of Revolutionary Reconciliation.

FF3 What mealy-mouthed drivel is this? How can reconciliation with the powers of Monarchy and repression be revolutionary?

FF1 But dear Sir, look at the numbers. Some 20% of our brethren state they would actively take up arms in defense of the Monarchy. Do we engage in civil war?

FF3 If we must fight our countrymen to throw off the shackles of the King, so be it.

FF2 Alas, my friend, you go too far. Let us seek better polling numbers before striking such a risky stance.

FF1 Yes. We cannot act until we poll above 70%.

FF3 (Sighing heavily). Then the Revolution is off, as is liberty and freedom. But I must say, by thunder, a pox on the polls! Give me liberty or give me death! I have not yet begun to fight!

FF1 Verily, but we dare not act by conscience and conviction alone. We must poll, poll, poll, and await the support of the great majority.

FF3 Then we accomplish nothing in this lifetime, or the next. God help such a spineless people as ourselves.

A sudden gust of wind extinguishes the candle, and the three men sit in profound darkness and silence.


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copyright © 2006 Charles Hugh Smith. All rights reserved in all media.

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