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The Carp Culture   (Rene Andre, August 4, 2008)

I am just an average joe schmoe who is trying to suck up an existance from the detritus and flotsam cast off by the Cream of Society. I know it, and so do you, that Americans are a wasteful bunch, who'd rather buy new than repair. They're trendy and competitive as well, so they have to have the newest latest gadget or toy so that they can continue to put on aires as the creme de la creme of society.

Enter the bottom feeders. I am not ashamed to claim that moniker. I have always been a scrounger and a trash can entrepreneur. If I can fix it, or part it out, and use the materials for something else, I will do so. I also do not mind driving a 15+ year old vehicle, that I can fix myself, and I gladly live in a 50 year old home. I used to live in a place that was 90 years old, so for me, this is huge swimming up the creek to better spawning grounds.

What so many writers and guests on blogs dedicated to Modern Survivalism fail to address, is the Carp Culture that is also aware and preparing for when SHTF, and TEOTWAWKI times. All too often, the common claptrap and expounded opinions, smack of elitism and exclusion at the cost of every one else. The wealthy social cremes, the Creamy-Dreamy End of Times Preppers, are then looking for the best vistas on high grounds, with unspoiled natural water sources, surrounded by abundant virgin woodlands teaming with wildlife begging for it's taking. What a giant steaming load of buffalo meadow muffins! Who do these swollen headed egotistical pigs think they are?

They want to go from their 7,500 sq.ft. McMansions in the burbs, to a fully stocked and solar/wind equiped Big Pines Ponderosa Rancho in the Idaho hinterlands, Washington Rain Forrests,or some other Boreal lands to the exclusion of all those who simply "Don't Belong" in their creamy view. The Cream dream of the fresh piney scent of their newly erected 7,000 sq. ft. Post and Beam, log and stone McBungalows on Shangrila Drive in a private gated community of other elitist survivor wannabe's...Then again, there are some of us who are burying 20 foot long,12 ft wide culverts in the ground and converting them into underground habitats, because that is what we can afford.

Yes, we bottom feeders are a creative lot, and we're not afraid of dirt, grime, stink, filth, and pawing through some one else's caliginous garbage pile to find a treasure we can use. We don't have multiple thousands of dollars to spend on fancy big ticket items like the beautiful people seem to have. Nope, we rather bottom feed our way at a much greater savings, rather than plunking down the platinum card and buying the best money can buy.

To us Carp's, survival is survival, no matter how you get there. However there are some distinct differences about the mind sets separating the Cream from the Carp.

To the Cream, money is of no concern, and as long as they can BUY their way out of any inconvience or hire slave labor to do the dirty work, then they can stay at their full creamy goodness in their homogenized world of Cadillac Escalades, Porche Cayenne's,or Lexus Hybrid SUV's. They can sport their Breitling Chronograph watches, Garmin rings, wearing the Best of the Eddy Bauer Patagonia collection, while standing upon their towering teak wood decks viewing the panoramas below thru their Swarovski binoculars looking for lowbrow cullions grubbing around in the bush. Like me for instance!

Mr. Cream will be on watch as his Benelli M2 Super Nova rests across his lap, meaning he's ready to take out all comers. Or, so he thinks! Meanwhile Mrs. Cream is cooking up a gourmet meal in the fully Wolf Brand equiped kitchen, as a cured apple wood fire crackles and snaps in the 30 foot high field stone fireplace. Then the wife might bring out a pre meal snack of pate' de Foie Gras's , crackers, and a fine 2000 Chateau Petrus Pemerol! Back again in the kitchen area, the Wolf oven is baking a soon to be enjoyed rack of lamb. The Cream have to keep up their strength you know? Roughing it is tough duty! Especially in the guarded gated community of twenty other elitist survivalists wannbe's at Eagles Aerie Estates!

Whereas way down below in a dried out, thorn bushed, Jack Pine overgrown, chigger infested ravine, a Carp in a well worn Viet Nam era camoflage jacket, Walmart cargo pants, and boots from the local thrift mart, is laying low, looking up at Mr. and Mrs. Cream on their deck, thru the POSP 8x42 scope on the AK 47 purchased at a discount dealer for 250 bucks a few years back. The Carp is munching on stale peanut butter and crackers, and freeze dried fruit from a M.R.E. pack dated 1992. It all gets washed down with warm water out of a $2.00 army surplus store canteen. The Carp later in the day will put on a pot of slumgully style soup made from dehydrated vegetables, with chunks of spam added in for a flavorful savory treat. Once that fine feast has been consumed, the Carp will settle down in the culvert hideout, warmed by a candles in tin cans. Meanwhile; after some time of recon and assessment, the Carp withdraws back to the underbrush where his 1993 Jeep Wrangler with 197,000 miles on it awaits. The Carp lets it roll back down the washed out gully without starting it, and Mr.Cream never knows that anyone was down below in the scrub brush thickets.

The Carp is now fully aware of the Creams in their castle, and has maintained his own integrity without exposure. The bottom feeder again has avoided the hook, and in the murky undertow of societal miasma slipped away un-noticed as he always has.

This is why I am so disappointed and yet not completely surprised at the two mind sets of survivalism and the over all movement. The rich once again, think they can usurp the movement, taking ownership of it, and exclude those who they deem unworthy or un-necessary in their top dog heirarchy. Money can force out the little guy, and make them move to the badlands and desert zones where they won't be sullying up the local retreat-resort estate beauty with their raunchy converted bus-houses, rickety pop-up travel trailers, or ten thousand dollar prefab cabins in the woods. No indeed, the wealthy want it all when SHTF, and they intend to make sure that those nasty hairy fellows in camouflage or red plaid shirts who have assult weapons, and drive old rusty Ford F-150's stay as far away as possible from their $750,000 custom built Post and Beam, log and stone abodes. The Creams don't want to see the lowbrows or their rolling tin can tenements in the fields of view from their McBungalows. They will make every effort to make sure this is the end effect too.

The mega rich are buying all the prime real estate, in every state, where there are lakes,rivers, big trees, big rocks, high hills, panaramas, and open air. Just as you cannot find any ocean front property in the USA for under a million dollars, the rich are gobbling up the last vestiges of all pretty territory where unmolested nature still exists. They will not be open to allowing the former locals in their 25 year old mobile homes to stay where they have been for the last 20 years either. They will petition the county board to re-zone, re-code, and other wise legally run out of Dodge, the riff-raff and their rabble rousing kinsfolk. It is happening all over the USA and in particular, in the North West. The Creams have driven land prices so high, that the little fish in the pond, cannot afford a acre of land within 50 miles of the Creamy claimed areas.

To me these are not survivalists, or End of Times preppers. They are the same problematic egotistical greedy gotta-have-it-all slobs that have caused the McMansion explosion in the farmland devouring urban sprawl areas across the nation. The Cream aren't concerned about the environmental impacts they create when they bulldoze out a two acre plot in the forrests of the Cascades. Not as long as they can have that Million Dollar , 20 mile view, over looking the lakes and valleys below. Once they have their McBungalows in the mountains, then they form committees to save the wild life, and lay claim to being "Green Zones". Until the Grizzly Bears come a calling that is! Then they want something done immediately to neutralize the marauder on their private property. Damned Bears anyway! Shoo...Never mind the fact that bears have been living in these zones for the last 200 years, Creamy owns the land now!

No sir, I am a Carp, a bottom feeding, garbage picking, low tech, nudnick that has no use for the NEW AGE monied Survivalist's. I know full well, if they knew of, or found my round corrugated hole in the ground, they'd scream and holler that they just found a "Silence of the Lambs" style hideout and inhabitant. They'd have me arrested, or burn me out, to get rid of the underground dwelling, pervert living in their midsts. Never mind I just want to be left alone, and be able to fend for myself, because that isn't an acceptable answer. I am one of THEM...Eww, you know, a poor person!

Ergo, there is no unilateral efforts or co-operation working within the two mind sets of what it means to be a survivalist. The Cream or Carp's, between the two there will never be a gesellschaft allied to a common cause. The Cream will not allow it. They will continue to price escalate property and supplies to their own advantages, at the exclusionary demise of the little fishes out in their locally drying up ponds of sustenance. And the Creams will gladly allow it to happen, if it means more for them! Has any one tried to buy Freeze dried/long term storable foods lately? Prices have jumped 300% in five years, and supplies are running out. It isn't Billy Bob and his cohorts living in a van down by the river who are driving is the selfish greedy gotta-have-it-all top Creamers who are grabbing up all available supplies now. The Creams McBungalow at Eagles Aerie Estates often have pantries large enough to hold $30,000 of long term storable goods, a five year supply, easily. Not to mention the fully stocked wine cellar in the basement, or the bar with all top shelf booze.

I am lucky if I can stuff a six to eight month supply of freeze dried close outs, grocery store canned goods, dry legumes, and expired M.R.E.'s into my underground galvanized wonder hovel. I haven't got any wine, but I can offer a plastic cup of TANG if you want it! Try to find a New, or good used, quality brand .308 cal. assault style rifle! They are gone, or are on a two year back order. If you manage to find one, they run over a thousand bucks! Try to find 5.56 mm bullets in bulk. Good luck, because they are all sold out indefinitely. Better have a Wilde chamber, then you can use the 223 cal., and those are getting harder to find as well.

This is why I prefer the 7.62 x 39 or 54r caliber Russian rifles. They are cheap to buy, there are many being unloaded now on the market, they take a beating, keep working, and the ammo is available currently and affordable, or until Obama manages to con his way into the Oval Office. Then, all bets are off! It'll be interesting to watch the Creams protest when they can no longer buy top flite semi-automatic weapons or ammunition if "His Oratory Highness " wins the election, and makes good on his bid to ban assault and semi auto weapons from public ownership. The Democrats will not renew the Grandfather clause either. You'll have to turn them in, or be an outlaw with one in your possession. No parts will be allowed to be sold to keep your current assault/semi auto weapons operating as well. As I said, it'll get interesting fast. I would expect a huge uproar straight across the board by all 2nd Amendment devotees, if they see their gun owning rights infringed upon, especially by an upstart Illinois Senator usurper who claims to have a mandate. But that is another discussion entirely. I digress...

I opine that nearly all web sites and blogs dedicated to SURVIVALISM, may seem a first glance to cater to most of the hard working schlimazels and outdoorsman of common ilk, but, looking closer at the web sites admass advertisements, you'll see whose attention it is they really are interested in. It is the man with money who can afford to buy gold, investment property, high-end equipment, endless books and videos, top-flite weapons and training safari's offered by some former SEAL commando. It is about selling the best body armour, bullet proofed custom vehicles, private security services, and professionally trained pedigree guard dogs from Germany. It is about contractors who can build your dream home bordering some national forrest in the Pacific Northwest, offering all the custom grade civil amenities that the rich homesteader deserves. This isn't survival, this is shylock consumerism disguising itself as Survivalism! The movement has been stolen by businessmen and bankers. The same rogues who have caused the meltdown of our current imploding economy. What a bunch of crap!

And lest we forget, the Survival forums run by zealots who do not want controversy or non kumbaya comments or ideas viewed on their make believe web site. These sites have enough biblical quotes and spiritual edictal panjandrum to drive a cloistered nun nuts! Avoid these sites at all costs, if you want to retain your sanity. Trust me, when SHTF, it ain't gonna be god who saves your ass, it'll be you alone who saves you, if you've prepared correctly.

I see survival sites as pandering to weekend wannabe's who like to delude themselves that they have the chutzpa or Los huevos to live off the land, or to survive a fire fight in the streets. They love to talk the talk on line under a false sobriquet, even arguing their points of view with great bombastic pomposity. The Barnumized claims of coverups,conspiracies abound, and nothing of any real value for the hard nosed TEOTWAWKI prepper to learn manifests itself, as they scroll the blog comments or the issues. If you have visited one Survival site, then you've pretty much seen them all. For the same self aggrandizing experts, book writers and sellers, and the same trouble makers are on all of them. And make no mistake, the first amendment right of free speech does not apply to these web sites. If there was one place where folks should be able to let it all hang out, you'd think a Survival forum would be it! But not so. For you can be blocked or banned entirely if the owner/moderators do not like your messages,or views. So it seems that the Elitist / Creams are operating these sites as well. Survival sites are nothing more than an adult equivalent to Saturday Morning Cartoon shows, for they are really nothing but a foolish entertainment forum for big boys with big expensive toys. I for one am sick and tired of it!

Where in Hell is the SURVIVALIST WEB SITE that is AKIN TO the old POPULAR MECHANICS MONTHLY? A down and dirty, nitty gritty, no punches pulled, this is how it works, how you do it, blueprints included, handyman's haven of information and knowledge? All that and it will not cost you red cent even if you can't afford to support the site. Well, I have yet to find it! ( the cost of the monthly cable service can be all that some web surfers can afford ) So if it's real information I want, the best I can do is go to the local retail booksellers, and read their books while drinking a cup of joe, and then put it back when I leave. Or, go to the library and check out their collection of old magazines on micro fiche, and make a copy. I can also stop by local farmers produce stands, and ask questions. So far, the for profit, mechandise peddling, Cream catering survival web sites I have encountered leave a heady acrid taste in my mouth!

Two Mind sets; The Creams vs the Carp Culture. Bet on the Carp!

Anyway, thats my rant, and I'm sticking to it.

The Bottom Dweller

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